My hero

Years ago, when I was very sick with pneumonia and influenza, I got into a book about Lance Armstrong. My aunt gave it to me to read for inspiration, since I was quite down being in the hospital and being so sick. I had totally lost hope, and thought there was no way for me to live a normal life. (I knew so little!!) Anyhow, I did not want to read the book at all at first, but I eventually did. I read in practically in one go. It touched me so deeply! Though I did not battle cancer, Lance's battle was my own. He wrote the words that I felt, and I just related to him so much. I also started to really like cycling, and became a huge fan.

The book by Lance Armstrong and Sally Jenkins, called "It's Not About the Bike: My Journey Back to Life" is still one that I have, and one that I have re-read many times. The life that Lance has lead outside of his cancer battle and cycling career, does not change how I view the man. It does not change his struggles, and his victories. I could not care less about who he dates, how many children he fathers, or how many women he marries. I love his story. It's a story of overcoming tragic and debilitating illness. Though I am not an athlete, and certainly do not have cancer, it was my story when I read it. I would recommend this book to anyone. It's remarkable.

So, 2009 rolls around and Lance is back. They say he won't win the Tour with year, that he isn't even trying to win, but I don't care, I am still hoping he does, and cheering for him.

When I got out of the hospital those many years ago, after those months of being so sick, and so defeated, I came home to nothing. I was unable to work. I was depressed. I watched all my friends start their careers (as this was just after my finishing University) as I was just happy to be alive. I almost died. My doctor reminds me of this when I feel like I can't take it any more. She says to me, '....after seeing what you went through, I will always bet on you. You're tough. You were really really sick. I was worried. I don't often get worried.' That was years ago, and I know that it was bad, since I don't remember most of it. But I do remember that when I finally got discharged, I faced such a staggering depression. I was alone, I was very thin, I had the lowest lung function that I ever had, and I just didn't know how to cope. That first summer, I literally did nothing. I think back to the person I was and the person that I am now, and I can't believe that was me. But it was a long time ago, and I had to learn how to cope. I had to learn how to accept CF in my life. So, that summer, all I remember is watching the Tour de France. It was my only enjoyment. But as I watched for the 2 weeks, loyally, jumping up and down at every win, crying when Lance overcame climbs and time trials, I was lifted up. After having read what he went through (much like the hell that I went through the months before) and then seeing him rise above it all, and win and win and win over and over, well I was sold. I was also convinced that there was more for me. So what if I could not pursue the career that I wanted, or the life that I had planned for. There was so much more out there. Life was waiting for me.

It was in the months ahead that I began to live life. Since I could not work full time, I volunteered at an art gallery, and ended up curating there later on. I met some amazing people, some of which Martin works with now, and just came alive. I applied for disability to help me along, and I was okay with the fact that I had to do what I had to do to make life work. And I was okay with it. I was no longer moping about all that I lost.

Within 6-12 months, I was loving life at the gallery. I was having fun, going out, really enjoying the things that I thought I had lost. My lung function began to rise, and soon it was back up to the 50s. I was active, and happy, and I always, ALWAYS thought Lance taught me to be that person. He often talked about the fact that after the cancer, after the chemo and the treatments, he was different, both physically and mentally. As a result he was angry and depressed. He didn't want to be different. He wanted to be the same, as he was before the cancer. He didn't understand why so much was taken away from him. That's how I felt. But once he got it, he changed the world! The world of cycling, of cancer awareness, and most importantly he changed himself. Something that is always the first and hardest step to take. The hardest change to make.

In the years to follow, I met my future husband, and, well the rest is history. Though I know Lance won't read this, I want to him to know that he changed and continues to change lives. Lance you certainly changed mine!

Below are my favourite Lance ads out now, they're amazing!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MIl5RxhLZ5U

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ph6Gd2Cg4gc (my favourite!)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oXAleHsmgEg (Healthy Lungs, Just Do It)

This may sound strange, but I don't think it's a coincidence that Lance is back when I need hope again! Ok, yeah, that does sound strange. But I believe it!