My most amazing baby shower!

(Our pretty flowers and champagne glasses)

Yesterday was my baby shower, and I have to say it was one of the best days that I have had in many many months. It was very tiring, and took a lot out of me - but it was SO worth it!!

My friend Katya offered her house for the occasion, and my sister in law did all the rest, and it turned out just as I pictured it. Most of my friends were there, and everyone got to meet Beth, which was very important to me. Until then she was just someone I spoke of, but no one got to meet (due to Beth and I living quite a distance away from each other). Since Beth is such an important person in my life, I wanted everyone that I knew to know her. I wanted to show that belly to those that loved me and say, 'that's my daughter in there, and this is the lady that's helping make it all happen!!'

The best part of the day (aside from the friends, the food, the perfect weather, the baby things...) was knowing and feeling the support of my family and friends. Support not only for the surrogacy, but also for everything that Martin and I were going through. I had not seen many people in that room for a long time. There were many phone and email conversations had, but not in person. So it was nice to get to do that.

I came away with knowing, once again, that I have an incredible group of friends. Friends that stand by me and love me, and support me when times really do get hard. Friends that I have known from middle school age, to high school, university, and later on in life. I think about it now, and I can't believe how lucky I am to have all of you!! Thank you!

Below are some pictures of the event. We have many, and you can find them on my Facebook page, but here are a selected few:

(All the amazing food prepared by Angie)

(Cupcakes by Coconut Girl designs, aka Kyla)

(the two hosts, Angie and Katya)

(that's me, enjoying some champagne, cupcake....and oxygen)

(Jess, Beth, and Sherri)

(High school reunion)

(At the end of the party, a few of us left....)

I could not have imagined a better day for my baby and me!! Seeing how big Beth's belly is made me super excited once again for the little time we have left until she is here. Now all we have to do, is put away all the beautiful things that we got for our baby (and we got so many fantastic gifts!!) and make sure that we're not missing a thing. Then we wait....

Clinic

Today was a long day of waiting. I had my CF clinic. Was put on more IV antibiotics at home. I am starting to think I won't be going off them during my wait for new lungs. Though I have to admit I like being on them since I feel half human on them, and am able to live more of my life.

So I have nothing new to report, so this will be a short post. I am waiting for the call from TGH to let me know if I will be listed, and if so, when I meet the surgeon and when I get my pager. Again, there is nothing I can see to think that I won't be listed, I just want to get that call, get the pager, and begin my wait. I know that due to my rare blood type that wait will be longer than the average, and so the faster it begins, the faster I will get my new lungs.

For those that don't know, Saturday is my baby shower. I cannot believe we are here already. I am really looking forward to it. Those that are coming are really some great friends of mine. Some people can't make it, it's not always possible to find a date that is good for everyone, but it will be an amazing day. I cannot wait for it, to celebrate with those I love, and to talk BABY!! I will be sure to take many pictures (or my good friend Kath who has been chosen to be the photographer) and post them post shower!!

The weekend and 62 days

We had a pretty glorious weekend weather wise in Toronto. Not overly hot, but sunny and dry. We spent most of the weekend outside in some form. On our back patio, on our front patio, or the Starbucks patio. I got some nice sun, and sun always makes me feel better!

Martin and I feel like we're more in love these days than we have been in a long time. We have been married for 2 years and 9 months, and have gone through all sorts of stages in our marriage already. There were always stressful times, like starting a business, flipping a home, going through infertility. There were great moments like our wedding day, our honeymoon, buying our dream home, finding out we were expecting a baby! Then there were all the moments in between as life just happens. I think marriage is hard, but I think it's incredibly rewarding. I think that if you don't find the right person, at the right time, a marriage has no chance of success. I feel like right now, after 2 years and 9 months, Martin and I have been through so much, that we can handle anything. Our commitment to each other has been tested and tried. This weekend we had a fight about something stupid, after which we decided to never fight again, we love each other too much. So we had a great weekend. I think both of us think periodically about what we're about to endure. What's about to happen in our lives. New baby, new lungs, just a continuation of the wonderful life that we already have, just with a major upgrade.

62 days. What's 62 days? Pretty incredible isn't it: That our little girl will come into this world in less than 62 days!! Where does time go? This Saturday is my baby shower, and I am so excited. It's going to be so nice to see all my friends and family!! I cannot believe how close we are!!

What happiness feels like

I forgot what happiness feels like. Today I remembered. Not because of the assessment, or anything else in particular. I think happiness happens in moments. One day you just pause, and you think, hey, right now I'm happy. This happened today. This is how the day went:

Today was day 3 of the tx assessment. Day 2 was good, but very tiring, and I just didn't have the time or the energy to blog. Tons of tests, tons of pokes and strange machines. If I was not on IV's, I would not have been able to get through it. The antibiotics allow me to stop coughing long enough to do other things but....well, cough. My lung function only increases a few percent, but I am able to leave the house, and walk around, and just generally live some sort of a life. My mom and I were very very tired after day 2. Today, Day 3 was only interviews, and it was a good day. Martin came with my mom and I, as my second support person. I have my mom, and Martin as support people. Meaning people that will be with me during the time of being listed, and after tx when I am being closely watched for the first 3 months.

So today were the interviews. We saw the tx coordinator first, a nice lady that walked us through the process in detail. From being listed, to the waiting process, and then post tx time. There was a lot of information. The program is intense to say the least. Once I get listed, I am going to be at TGH 3 times per week for a work out program. No matter what, no matter how low my lung function gets, it's required. They customise a program for each person, so you only do what you can, but the point clearly is to keep you well enough to do as well as you can during and after the operation. Other than that, they told me that I am a rare blood type, B+, which can be a longer wait, or it can be a much shorter wait since I don't have a lot of people competing for the same pair as me. Depends how you want to look at it. Nothing I can change either way. Post tx is intense again, with the first 3 months being the most rigorous. Once a week PFT's, XRay's, and blood work to keep a close eye on what's happening with my new lungs. So basically lots and lots of work, but lots and lots of reward. That's how we think of it anyhow.

The program itself is incredibly impressive. We have dealt with less than impressive programs before, so going to a place where the people are this organised, this focused, and this knowledgeable is quite refreshing. After the Transplant Coordinator we met the dietitian as well as the social worker and we really were impressed by the people that we spoke to. There was definitely a sense of confidence that helped me as a future tx patient feel more confident about what I am about to embark on.

The coordinator told us that she will call us next week with the listing results. Meaning if I am a candidate for transplant, and did the team decide to list me. Though there seems to be no reason that I can see why I would not be listed, (or my CF doctor can see) this is a big step, and really the last hurtle before being listed and receiving my pager.

After our day at TGH, Martin returned to work and my mom and I got some sun in my garden. We talked about all that we learned today, there was SO much information, SO much to process and understand. When Martin came home a few hours later, we ate dinner and sat in the sun some more. Martin and I spoke about all sorts of things, and I thought about how much I have been through during the last few months. How much adjusting we all had to make. How many tears there have been, how much pain and frustration and illness. How many bad days, so few good health days. But today was the first day in a long time that I felt a little bit of the old me. I felt that by getting through the last few days I accomplished so much. They were hard, not horrific or terrible, but hard. Emotionally hard, physically hard, but I got through them and learned a lot about myself, and about Martin and my family. It's amazing how there are always things to learn, that always amazes me.

In the early evening Martin cut the grass, and did some work out front. I did a bit of sweeping (with my oxygen, as if it's not even there....how I am used to it now amazes me!!) and then my mom took over when I got tired. So I sat on the front porch and watched people walk by, watched my husband cut the grass, and watched my mom help out, and I thought, wow, today I am really really happy. Go figure. With all this, I am really really happy. Go figure.

Today

Last night I had yet another allergic reaction to a new antibiotic. So this morning I stopped that one, and contacted clinic to have them changed. So another clinic visit today, another change of meds. Feeling better. Or at least without an allergy, hopefully these drugs will give me a bit of a pick -me-up for tx assessment next week.

So another hurtle it seems. I feel like I'm running around more now than ever before. To this clinic, that clinic, these tests, calling oxygen orders, medication orders, all day long this is what I do. Whew.....I'm tired.

Thank you to my tx friends from all over the world that have sent me words of encouragement yesterday. It was a hard day, a hard story, a sad story. Thank you for telling me that your tx went well, that I have much to look forward to and that there is more good than bad on this road. Those are the words I need to keep myself focused on the positive.

I saw today that I have 25 people following my blog, which is fantastic, and nearly 6000 views. wow, that's something. I remember a few months ago when it was 20 views. The support that I have been experiencing has blown me away, and I cannot thank everyone enough for all of it. You lift me up.

Happy Mothers Day 2009

Today we are at t he 10 week mark, until we meet our little angel. Remember, we are being induced at 39 weeks. Wow, 10 short weeks. I remember when we were just 10 weeks pregnant like it was yesterday and cannot believe we are here at this point in time right now. And all that's happened since. It's been a tough ride at times, but the one constant joy has been knowing that in July we will have the greatest gift that can be given to us. That is what keeps me going, Martin going, my mom and dad, and everyone else in our life. It is the light in a sometimes dark place, and the hope in an often hopeless place. Children truly are a miracle.

Today is mother's day, and I cannot believe that I am already a mom. I feel like a mom. I think about my baby all the time. What life will be like for her with us, and how I can be the best mom in the whole world to her. I think about the day when I will tell her about how she made her way into this world, how sick her mommy got throughout the middle of the pregnancy, and the decisions we had to make to ensure mommy could get better. One day I will hand over this blog to her and she will read it, and know, that no matter what happens after the transplant, and no matter how long my life is afterwards, this fight right now was fought in her honour.

To all the mom's out there, Happy Mother's Day!!

Patience

The nursery is really coming along now. It looks so good I can't believe it's not even done yet. Today I picked up a few odds and ends that really made the space pop. It finally looks like a little girl is going to live there, finally!


Tonight I will start the mural on the window wall. I hope that it will not be a big job, since it's just a few wallpaper-like elements that I will paint on. Wait and see I think it will be amazing! I think once that's done I will take some pictures, since I really want to show it to everyone. The chandelier is not here yet, even though it was ordered many moons ago....many many! And that's the final big item to come. But may be I will take come pics in pieces to give everyone an idea. We've been working so hard on that room, that it needs to be seen by someone other than us!! I was hoping to have it done much sooner, but with everything taking months and months to order, and my being sick, things have been really slow. This little girl better not think of coming to us earlier than expected.


Today I took a walk down Queen Street West and stopped at a really beautiful store named Chatelet Home. Imagine an antique store for your little princess. The most beautiful things you can imagine for a nursery, for a little girl of course....

**********************

Okay, so the above was written a few days ago. I never finished it, as the last couple of days have been terrible. Generally I have not been feeling well, and last night I was terribly dizzy and nauseous. Strange symptoms that freak me out, and make me worry. This morning things seemed to have calmed down, so hopefully the day or two in bed has helped me out. Today, I hope I can get more done and more life lived.

I got my assessment package in the mail, and the dates for all my tests and appointments. Looks like by May 22 it will all be done with. From May 19th - 22nd the days will be long and the tests quite draining. I am not looking forward to that week, but just want to get through them, and get myself on that waiting list. That's my goal. Only then will I relax and focus on my babies birth. It looks like I will have a month or so before our little girl is born to get used to being on the waiting list for tx, and just focus on her arrival.

I think about what's ahead all the time. ALL the time. So many things are happening, I cannot imagine all this madness will be over within a years time. There is a level of calm that you have to gain during this time, otherwise you'll lose your mind with worry and thought and calculation. I just go day by day, night by night, and try to stay calm and focused. For those who know me, know that I am quite the Type A personality. I am demanding on myself, those around me, the world in general. I love to control things. I love to learn and grow and move ahead, never dwell or go backwards. To be in this situation right now, in many ways, is the Type A personalities worst nightmare. Total loss of control. Loss of the ability to demand yourself to do anything, your body won't allow it! AHHHH!!!! That's how I feel on most days. This, more than anything, is a lesson in patience.

Patience, patience, patience.....

Moving forward

Today was my first clinic visit since I have been back from the hospital. 10 days later, my lung function today was 26%, 0.94L. So the good news is that things are basically the same, and it looks like I am able to be home without getting worse. This is good news.

While I was waiting for the appointment, I got the call that I have been waiting for from TGH regarding my assessment date. I was so happy to hear from them. My appointment for assessment is going to be during the week of May 19th, which is really soon! I am so happy that I am not going to wait for months for that appointment. This means that during that week of the 19th I am going to finish up those tests that we started at SMH. Once those are done, I wait for a month to get listed. Which means....most likely I will be listed on, or within a few days of my 30th birthday!! Oh what a gift that will be.....well may be not what I expected, but I will be very glad to be on that list waiting. Very glad.

Home had been okay. Emotionally up and down. But physically I feel okay. I am getting more and more used to living with oxygen and more and more used to going out with it. I guess with time everything gets better. Easier and better. Overall I think that if my health does not get worse before tx, I will be very lucky. If I stay like this I will be very lucky. But time will tell how long I will be on the list, and how tolerant I will be of that wait. I think to myself every day that this is not forever, this is a finite time, and it will come, and things will finally change for the better. I embrace that thought every day, and try to ignore all the other thoughts looming in my head.

Our little baby is growing inside Beth every day. and on Thursday we have our 3D ultrasound that I am very excited about!! I can't wait to see more of her. I think Thursday will be a great day. I will post pictures and show her off when we get them!!

I don't have much more to add. I am quite tired from today's clinic, that always ends up being quite a long day. My next post will be much more interesting on the baby front. Can't wait for the world to see her as we get to on Thursday.

Getting home with the help of Justin Timberlake

I know a totally corny title....you'll see why soon. I'm not even really that big of a fan....haha....

Yesterday I finally made it home. After 29 days, plus those 14 days that I did the first time around. Somehow it feels like forever ago, yet it went by quickly. Sleeping in my bed last night was hard for me believe it or not. It felt alien, but I did fall asleep quite fast and slept until 9am, which I have not done in ages. I certainly feel more relaxed this morning, as yesterday I was very anxious and had a hard time relaxing.

I am not on IV's at the moment, which is also quite a nice thing, but I think is the reason behind the anxiety. It seems like when I am on IV's I am more stable and have no surprises. I don't wake up with a heavy chest, coughing fits, and fevers. Generally on IV's I feel good, though my lung function does not change much, but as least I feel ok. I do not look forward to no IV's since I tend to anticipate when I will get worse. Hopefully this time I will have a few weeks or even months without having to go on IV antibiotics. Fingers crossed.

The tx assessment is moving forward. I am waiting for TGH to contact me with the actual appointment date, and I have been calling them to get that date sooner. Hopefully we will know very soon. It will make me feel good to have that date set. So we wait.

Part of the pleasure of being home is being closer to the nursery and being able to go up there and sit and look. Our little girl is collecting some outfits already from friends and family that are sending things. It's so great. There are some pretty cute outfits that she's going to have to grow into. A few are the teeny tiny ones that I know will last for only a short time, but they are my favourites. We will have to choose which one she comes home in. The nursery itself looks awesome. Like a different room. All the big things are there and waiting to be fluffed up and prettied up with the accessories. The blinds and bedding are being made as we speak, and will soon arrive. I can't wait to add those little elements that will soften the space up. I can't wait to show you guys, but I think I'll wait until it's all put together, for the full effect!

I am coping with all this change not as well as I am used to. Meaning that I have been able to, all my life cope quite well with changes in my health and my limitations. May be because this is the final limitation, the final step before I am free of this disease in my lungs. May be that's the reason why I am having these moments of stress and anxiety. Having the oxygen at home, has also added to that feeling. It's not ideal for our home. We live in a very large house, and the tubing and compressors are just not enough, so we have to see what we can do for that. It's a pain, and dealing with these companies is not easy. In this condition living in a small condo would be ideal. Everything close by, and easy for me to get to. But, I know that it is temporary. Not forever, though it will be a year or year and a half, and that causes me to really get frustrated. Somehow, I still wake up every morning and think this was all a bad dream, and I am able to get out of bed without getting caught on my oxygen tubing. I feel like I have lost something, and in some way I feel like I am sad for what I had lost. I try to think of all that's coming, the gifts that I will get. The baby that will be with us soon. She is the greatest gift. Then the gift of life that I will receive due to someone else's great loss and their insight and generosity as well as the grace of their loved ones. So I understand that I should look forward, that I should not concentrate on this time now not being so comfortable. It is par for the course.....this is the world of a patient pre transplant. I know this. Somehow this does not make the sense of loss go away.

There is a song that I really like, by Justin Timberlake, that I never listened to closely enough to get the lyrics. I just thought it was a great song. Recently I actually heard the lyrics, and it caught me off guard that this is how I feel right now:

"I've been travelling on this road too long
Just trying to find my way back home
But the old me is dead and gone
Dead and gone"

A long road that I have been down, the road of CF. As it reaches the end, I do feel that it has taken with it the old me. And that part of me is dead and it is gone, and now with tx coming, I am trying to find my way back to whom I was and who I am meant to be. Like the old me, but better. The rest of the lyrics, I looked up and they are totally weird and have nothing to do with anything I can relate to.....such as....well you can look them up on your own, I won't write them here thank you! Somehow though, those lyrics above, the chorus, made sense to me, even though I don't look at Justin Timberlake as my spiritual guide....haha.

So, now we wait and see how the days go. We are waiting for TGH to call and set that assessment date. We are waiting for baby girl to come home to us. And we are waiting for my lungs to come. Well, let me correct myself, those lungs that someone will let me use. That person that we will owe my life to. I think about that person all the time, without me knowing whom I am thinking of, and without that person ever knowing what impact they will have on me. It is bittersweet isn't it?

Our first ultrasound

Today was a special day. Before I go on, I know you guys want the news, 1 or 2? Well, we are having 1. One perfect little baby. Below is our ultrasound picture. 7 weeks, 1 day. Our due date was moved up to July 26th, 2009.

It was such a thrill seeing his or her little heart beat. That strong indication of life. I watched in amazement. Martin and I created that little life, and we are so thankful. So very thankful.

I loved to see Beth again. She lives a few hours away, so seeing her is a treat. She looked great, and was so excited and amazed right along with me.

The thrill of it all is hard to explain. It is hard to put into words how I could love something so much that is .98 cm long. Something so small, but with such a strong heart already and will to live! I love this baby already. I looked at the ultrasound screen and could feel so much love for that little being. What a blessing, what a miracle. I was in heaven.

Today I am going to close my eyes as often as I can and remember that little movement of my babies heart. It is such a glorious image that I am going to savour the thought, and wait for Martin to come home so we can enjoy the moment together.

Where the story starts

The past few months have been an emotional roller coaster. This morning I was thinking about all that we've been through to get to this point, and when did it all start?

Before Martin and I got married we decided that we wanted babies. We talked about it a lot. How many, a girl, or a boy, may be a few. Shockingly we were not too concerned about how it would happen. I think back to it now and think that it might have had something to do with me feeling that of all the things that I was deprived of in my life due to my CF, this could not be one of them. People had kids all the time. No one stopped people from having babies, it was just one of those things. I felt like I deserved it, damn it!! So I ignored the fact that this was something that could be hard for us to do.

At that time, this was the beginning of 2006, I was not as unwell as I am now. The nature of the beast I guess. My lung function was in the high 40s to low 50s and I was on IV antibiotics every 4-5 months, so about 2-3 times a year. I had not been in the hospital for a long time, and seemed to be able to do many of the things that my peers could do. After several doctor visits (both CF and High risk OBGYN) I was given the go ahead to try to have a baby on my own. It was something that I was so happy about, and so we tried. Since this was the time before our wedding, I was not too concerned about tracking the time this took. As months passed by I never stopped and questioned why I was not getting pregnant. I just thought it took time.

On September 30th 2006 Martin and I got married. It was such an amazing day!! Everything was perfect. Our family and friends blessed us with a day that we will never forget. I felt on top of the world, as all my dreams were coming true. I was married!! My illness did not stop me from being the person that I wanted to be, and the person that I was meant to be. It was a magical feeling. I knew, I just knew that a baby would follow. I did however have fleeting thoughts about how it was going to happen.

2006 came to a close, and we were no further in understanding what was going on with our fertility. During that time, in fact most of 2007 Martin and I were very busy with our businesses and moving into a house that we were going to flip, and somehow everything was put on hold. I quickly realized during the summer of 2007 that I was not always ovulating, and that my periods were not as regular as I thought they were. I was also getting more and more chest infections, meaning that I was on IV antibiotics what seemed like all the time. The summer of 2007 was terrible for me. My lung function dropped into the high 30s and I was losing weight, feeling tired, and generally directed my focus to the reason why I was feeling so terrible. The last thing we thought about during that time was having or making a baby. It was a terrible time for us. I thought I had missed my window to carry a baby, since the year before I had felt so much better than I was feeling now. I was sad about it. I was feeling guilty that I had taken away that possibility from my husband, and most of all I was terrified that I would never experience being a mother, which was something I really thought one day would come.

In October 2007 Martin and I moved into the house that we are in now. We got it for many reasons. I loved it due to the neighbourhood, the schools, the kitchen!! I look back at it now, and I think Martin got it so that that I would not feel like I had missed anything. He wanted me to live in a home that was made for a family. A home that had seen it's fair share of children, family dinners, and it's fair share of growing up. It was more than we needed, being just the two of us living in it, but it was my husbands way to make me feel that we still had hope in our future. He wanted me to have this house, since my future was uncertain, and the feeling was now or never. Not later, but now! Later is sometimes hard to imagine when living with CF. Martin, I find out every day is a really good man.

What happened next only makes sense now, it certainly did not make sense at the time when it happened. One night in early 2008 I started to cough up blood. At first I thought it was just some rattling phlegm, nothing a nebulized mask or a puffer would not cure. It was the middle of the night (when all awful things seem to happen) and Marty was already in bed. I left the room and went across the hall to the bathroom (did not want to use the ensuite as it would wake Marty up) to see what was going on. Now for those that don't know, when one has CF, one has to get used to coughing up some nasty stuff. What can I say, it's something that you just get used to!! It's a way of telling a lot about the progression of the illness. The colour, the thickness....well I don't want to gross you out, but it will help with the rest of your understanding. So 2am, I step into the bathroom and proceed to cough up what could have easily been 2 cups of fresh hot blood.

No amount of years with CF prepares you for that moment. How can it? This had never happened to me before. It was out of a horror movie. The truth is, looking back, at that moment I thought I was going to die. I stood there for a while I think. Scared, not wanting to move. I knew what was ahead. The ER at St.Mikes. Waiting hours, may be days for a bed. Then the CF ward (6 Bond) for weeks, may be months. I cried. But then, as so many times before, I got out of the bathroom, woke up my sleeping husband, and the two of us, on automatic pilot packed a bag and were off to St.Mikes.

The blood kept coming for the next week or so, cups and cups of it. I was in ICU until the infection was under control and I was then sent to 6 Bond to continue treatment. I was told it was a blood vessel that burst with the strain of my lung infection. It happened to people with CF. Overall once it was under control and the infection had subsided, the bleeding would stop. As it did.

It was when Martin and I got home that we made the decision that I was in no shape at all to carry a baby. Now I know many of you out there right now are shaking your heads, going, REALLY??? Duh!! But sometimes in life it takes something this big to show you the obvious. Somewhere between 2006 and 2008 I had become very sick. I was no longer able to pretend otherwise.

To this day I thank God for that moment of blood gushing from my lungs, in the bathroom, in the middle of the night. I guess it was obvious that we were not seeing what we were supposed to see, and had to be shown. Basically, God had to reach down and over and over whack me over the head with his big furry slipper. Miraculously it was the best thing that ever happened to us. Within the next 7 months we would meet Joanne a woman that helped us get the surrogacy journey started, we would find our superhero of a surrogate Beth, and most importantly we would get back what we were missing the most, HOPE.

First Post!!

So it took me a while to set this Blog up. But I am ready to post!! I really hope this will be a great way for you all out there to share in our surrogacy journey. As it has begun!!

For the next few weeks I will be writing a lot, trying to share what has happened during the past few weeks, months, and really most of 2008. It will be a process, but well worth the effort. I cannot wait to share all that has been going on. For now, let me just say that it has been a long road to get here. Martin and I have been wanting a child for years. We got married with the dream of having a family as soon as we could. We never expected that nearly 2 and a half years after that wedding day, we would only be beginning the journey, and I wouldn't even be pregnant myself!! But here we are and we are thrilled. May be this is the way that things have to be. In order to get to that place of comfort and true acceptance we had to go through all that we did. Only now, it feels right. Only now does it feel whole. Only now, does it feel just as it should be. What a great place to be my friends!!

Just to set the stage, let me...well....set the stage. Martin and I have been married for 2 years, and 2 months. We live in Toronto in our dream home that beckons to hear kids running up and down it's stairs. We are very much in love, but like all other couples have had our ups and downs, which have only made us stronger and better and more in love. This love has been our guide, as we've had to handle things that most couples our age simply can't even imagine. My illness, Cystic Fibrosis (CF) has been trying to say the least, and caused us to realize that having a family would be very difficult. So....we decided to have a baby and use a surrogate, and so far have been incredibly blessed as we are now 6 weeks, 3 days pregnant! What can I say...MAGIC!!

Over the next few blogs I will go through the process thus far. Infertility, the clinics, the doctors, the drugs, more drugs, finding our awesome surrogate, and generally getting to the place that we are at now. For now that's it. But there is more to come.