I miss my blog!

I know everyone gets worried when I don't write in a while, and I don't want anyone to worry! I am doing fine. No call yet, and nothing else to report.

Things have been busy I feel, may be due to my going to physio twice a week at TGH, or with Scarlett growing in her little milestones. We had a doctor visit this week and our little girl is not so little. 11lbs 12oz. Yeah we know. No need to say it. 97th percentile. This is certainly something that you aim to be in the 50th percentile range, but hey, this is how she rolls!! Our Scarlett likes to eat and sleep, and as I said is a previous post, has not yet learned how to burn some of that off. Again, we're not complaining, more like finding her mildly amusing. She is, as a result, one of the most cuddly babies you can imagine. All pudge and smiles. Yes there have been smiles, looking around at mommy, daddy, and grandma, and a strong love affair with her soother. Everyday I feel like she's bigger, happier, and stronger. She keeps her head up when we're on the bed together and we're tummy to tummy, looking at me. She's one strong kid. Just how we like 'em!

We also got her sitting in her Hushamok, that just arrived last week after a 4 month waiting time. But it came just in time for her to hang out in it. She loves it. It's in the kitchen where she can watch my mom cook or prepare bottles. I think she looks hilarious in it!! Picture below:

(Scarlett thinking she's pretty cool)

So there you have it. Our little one month old, nearly 12 pound baby!! Who would have guessed it. She is by far the best baby I could have ever have imagined having. It makes me smile just writing about. Everyday she becomes more and more like a little person and less and less like a baby. Which is funny to say, since she's a month old, but it's true. She's developing ways that she looks at me, or parts of her personality shine through, and I think to myself, that was another day of her life. Wow.

The other day I was think about the future, and I pictured Scarlett thinking about her past one day. It will happen. One day Scarlett will be sitting in her dorm room, or in her apartment, or in her house, or at her boyfriends house, or with her husband on a family vacation, and she will think about the story of her life. Experience tells me this will happen. We all do it, sit back a few times (or many times) in our lives and reflect. Something grasps us, and we think of something and we wonder how that part of our undiscovered lives felt like. These days I look at Scarlett and I wish she was old enough for me to tell her the million things that I want her to know. About what her mommy and daddy are going through right now, the fight that we have encountered, and will continue to cope with for the rest of our lives. I know that one day when she does start to think about it, I will be there to tell her so many things, and when I am not there her dad will be. There will also be my writing. Lots of it. She will know everything. But I still think there were things I could explain, now, that I will let go of, then. I think most people if they were to explain to their children something when their children were babies, the explanation would be quite different than later in life, may be simply due to the passage of time. May it's a way to only remember the good stuff, not dwell on the hard times. I don't know, but whatever it is, that's why I am writing.

When I write this blog, I often write to someone....but to whom? I sometimes write to the blog world, but in reality more friends and family read this than strangers. And really, I don't write for strangers, no matter how much I love and have grown to rely on the friendship of people I have never met. I feel silly writing in the old school way, the dear diary type of way, it never felt normal to me to write to a diary fairy...or book, or whatever that being was to be on the other side. Anyhow, the more I thought about it, and re-read my older posts (before the talk of Scarlett being Scarlett, or tx for that matter) I always get the sense I am writing to my child or children. I am almost certain there will be more. So, from now on I will write to Scarlett. I think this will allow me to say more, be more focused, and feel more of a purpose to my day. I want to write Scarlett about today, as tomorrow is uncertain. So when she has those moments in time later on in her life, when she's thinking about her life, this part of the story is quite a lot more clear to her. Since I told it to her right from the very beginning of her life. The reason I have decided to keep this public, is simply that I don't want to stop this blog, but I feel that if I start to write only for Scarlett I will be too tired to write things twice. We'll see.