Writing for gratitude

My last post was two months ago. I certainly was not sure if I would ever write again at that time, and I am still not sure what I am going to do next...or if there is still anyone out there reading. But that's okay. I am writing today with gratitude in my heart, and a completely new life that I am living.

Lots has happened since March. There was a turn around. There was a time not too long ago that even though I was feeling better and better physically, I was so changed emotionally that I did not know who I was. Transplant somehow took something away from me. I could not figure out why this was happening. I was breathing, I was alive, I was with my family, but I was lost. I guess I wanted so much more. Dreamt of being normal and capable, and as much as I wanted that, it was not happening. Not right away anyhow, and I wanted it right away.

During the last few months, I feel like I have been reborn. That's the best way to describe it. My past life living with CF lungs is just a faint memory. Did I really live my life coughing, wheezing, gasping, medicating? How did I do it for 30 years? I guess I did. But the fact is, I don't miss a bit of it. Not anything. The life I have now is better than a dream. Better than I could have imagined. The fact is, I have never been healthy, so how could I have ever imagined what it would feel like. Well, now I know.

It feels like each day is a new one. If I have a tiring day, I sleep, I eat, and I have energy for what is to come tomorrow. That's like most people I'm guessing. Well my CF body never seemed rested enough. I never ate enough, I never slept enough, I never coughed enough to clear my lungs. It was never enough. It was always a battle. Always a catch up game. These days my days look something like this:

6:30 - 7am Scarlett wakes up, so I get out of bed. (I take insulin - nothing else! My Cf lung 1 hour routine is now 30 seconds)
7-8am Martin and I eat breakfast with Scarlett (we watch daddy leave for work)
8-10am We dress, shower, have play time, or a walk, or grocery shopping, or if it's a Monday we clean the house (I take my pills at 9am)
10-noon Scarlett naps. I make sure laundry is done, bills paid, lunch made
noon - 1pm We eat lunch.
1-3pm We usually are outside again. Long walks, shopping on yonge, coffee with a friend, a play date,today was an afternoon in her blow up pool in the backyard (great fun!!)(2pm pills)
3-5pm (sometimes 230 -4pm, Scarlett naps again) During this time I make dinner. Since I'm eating nearly no carb right now, I always have to prepare the meat, veggies, whatever is on the menu. We are eating well these days. I am so happy to be able to prepare fresh food for my family. I was so sick for so long that we had to sacrifice very healthy eating. These days Martin, myself, and little Scarlett are eating all veggies and fruits and lean meat. (Scarlett of course is allowed carbs as a baby should!!)
5-6:30pm We eat dinner. Martin is home anywhere during that time. We all eat together, and talk about the day, and watch as Scarlett makes the biggest mess possible as she learns to eat all sorts of things. We love it!!
7pm I go do yoga. Martin bathes and puts Scarlett down. She's usually so tired after our busy day, that sleeping comes quickly and happily.
8:30pm I return home, and Marty and I have some wine, sit on the porch, or watch a movie. (9pm pills)
10pm We are sound asleep. Scarlett is a great sleeper. Sometimes it scares me and I look in on her while she's sleeping. She often wakes up only once, sometimes I only hear from her at 7am, like clock work. There have been harder nights, when she was getting used to some changes. But that came and went. I don't blame her for having a hard time, with all that's happened. Actually for a baby that has been through everything that she has, she is the happiest, most well adjusted baby I know.

For those of you that have followed closely during the past year or two, you'll remember that my mom was living with us for about a year. A huge sacrifice on her part. Well, my mom has moved out. Sooner than I ever thought she would. I just started to do so much and feel so good, that we were all able to move on with our lives. To me, the fact that I take care of a 10 month old all by myself all day, and the house, and the garden, and I make the meals....(well you get the idea) is an absolute miracle. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I would be able to. But the truth is I do it with pleasure, with a smile on my face, and more gratitude every day.

The one constant these days, is that I am more thankful than ever. At least once a day I will do something that makes me teary eyed. I will be in the grocery store and people will be smiling at Scarlett and I and telling me that my daughter is beautiful and I think, yup that's my daughter. To them I am just a regular mom. How cool is that? The other week I decided to run up a hill with the pram. I don't really know why, may be because I could. And I did. I felt like I was flying. By the time I made it up the hill I was in tears. A month ago I did my first power yoga class without once stopping or resting. It was amazing. My body and mind felt like one. Last week I decided to take Scarlett on a day trip to my in laws cottage. I packed us up, and spent the day at the beach. Something I never thought I would do by myself. Scarlett and I had the best time. At one point I walked past the cottage where I have spent some time during the past few years. Often not being able to go to the beach since I was so tired and sick. Often watching families walk as I stayed on the porch or inside. On this day, I wish I could go back in time and hug that girl on the porch. Tell her not to worry, good things are coming your way. Just hold on, be strong. That girl that I was, that I no longer am. I wish she could see me now.

I have also had quite powerful moments when I think about the woman that lost her life 6 months ago. A woman that never imagined how her life would end, and I am sure never imagined that she would save a life as she lost hers. Thought I know she was not aware of her fate, and thus not aware of mine, I like to think that her spirit knows. I often look up to the sky and thank her quietly. Her family might think they understand what they did for me, but I don't think it's possible to understand. I wish I was articulate enough to express to them (and I have tried) what my life is now. To thank them in a way that would mean something - to find those words. I am not back to the person that I was. I am a new person. A person that has the luxury of health, and happiness, and the privilege of insight, as I know how it feels not to have any of those things. It makes me so sad to think that we are not all organ donors. That we don't all think about the lives that we could change. The responsibility that comes with living in a world filled with our brothers and sisters. I urge you all to make that choice. Become a organ donor and become a hero. What a legacy to leave. I think about my donor and her family all the time. Mostly in awe of their ability to think of others when their world was crashing down. It seems like an obvious choice, a simple choice, but the donor numbers in Canada will tell you what they did for me was extraordinary.

Saying thank you and goodbye

After lots of thought and conversation about the topic, I have decided that it's time for me to shut down my blog. I will print everything that I have written, and I will bind it, so that I have it for the future, but I will shut it down.

When I started this blog, it was a huge source of comfort and relief for me. I never expected it to become as large as it did. For so many people to connect to it. That was a lovely surprise. I started to write when Martin and I found out that we were expecting. We had just gone through Invetro, and with the help of our amazing friend Beth, we were awaiting our 9 month journey to meet our daughter Scarlett. During that time I never imagined the year that 2009 would be. If someone told me what the year had in store for us, I would not have believed them. It all unfolded so quickly. So suddenly. Looking back, it has all been like a bad dream. A dream that we are all just waking up from now.

During the time that I was waiting for my lungs to come, my blog was my support, my comfort, and my connection to something I was physically unable to connect to any more. I was so isolated socially, so emotionally robbed, and physically broken, that the blog, and the Internet allowed me to make connections with people that I missed so much. That I needed so desperately. During the most desperate times, my blog allowed me to express what it was like to be so sick, so sad, and so scared. I never expected the support and love that I got from perfect strangers, old friends, new friends, family, and other bloggers. I was hooked the moment I wrote my first post and got my first comment about what I had written. The connection was real, and it moved me.

As much as there has been support there have also been critics. People that have wondered why my family and I would be so public with something as personal as my illness and lung transplant. I want to use this forum now to answer those people. There are many reasons why we went public, and why we continued to be public. The first and most immediate reason was my need for lungs. I was very sick. I was on my death bed. I needed an organ that was not coming. I was a rare blood type, and we came to the conclusion that since there was nothing we could do for me at that time, the only thing we could do was to get awareness out about organ donation, tell my story and may be, just may be, reach that one person that would make the choice for a loved one that had passed away. It was a difficult thing to do, knowing the nature of organ donation and the controversy that is always around it, but it was all we could do. To this day, I would do it all the same way. I believe it worked. It helped me get my lungs, and many other people too. I believe that with my whole heart, and it makes what I have gone through, and what my family had to endure, not in vain. But with purpose.

I also went public with my story, since it brought me comfort. I know for many people it would not, but for me it did. In October when I was at St.Mike's and in so much pain, waiting for my call to come, and the Star ran that beautiful article about Scarlett, Martin, and I, I gained strength from the fact that everyone knew, and that most people wished us well. I say most, since I know it was not all. Some people were outraged that I would have a child knowing how sick I might become. I have never addressed those people. I was always very kind. Today I will say what I have wanted to say for over a year. How dare you judge me? My decisions. My life. I only have the strength to say this now, because I see the child that my daughter is. The perfect person that she is, and the love that she is raised with. She is proof of what family love is. The assumption that a mom and a dad make a perfect family is pure ignorance. We all know many moms and dads that should not be parents. But they had the freedom not to be judged. My illness has always opened the doors for judgement. In fact many people with CF are judged every day for the choices that we make. We are people, we have the freedom to do like all other people, and our children will grow up with a perspective that will make them incredible people. I watch Scarlett grow up. Happy, healthy, and strong. Smart, loving, and caring. She has been raised by my husband while he went through insurmountable stress. She was raised by my mom, who was there when my husband was by my side when I was dying a terrible death. The result is a child that loves unconditionally. Loves her mom, her dad, her babcia, her dziadek, her uncle John, her aunt Angie, her cousin Sophie, her nana, her papa, and on and on. Her connection to her mom, to me, is unwavering. She knows I am her mom, even though I did not carry her, and I was away unable to see her for months. This is love. To those people that doubted that love. That criticized my family and our intentions (and our very difficult and calculated decisions), you people must lack that love, as you would never doubt it if you knew it.

I don't want this last entry to be about negative people. Since out of thousands there were only a few. But I had to write what I felt, I think everyone out there has come to expect that from me. Recently I have had the opportunity to go through some of the comments, and emails, and letters, and I felt like I needed to say what I felt. So there it is.

To everyone else out there, I have felt so much love and support, it's hard to imagine. Toronto was more than supportive. I felt the love through the walls of the hospital, through the darkest days, through the pain, through the set backs, and through all the victories. While I was at TGH I got to know a lovely woman that was a perfect stranger to me (T you know who you are), a woman that waited in the ICU waiting room for days and days while I waited for my lungs, and as I recovered from the operation. She came with cards, with gifts, with love and support. I also knew of a young man that had come to offer a part of his lobe, to act as a living lung donor, to save my life. He wanted to share the life that he was given with me, someone he only knew through the media. To him, even though I do not know who he is, I want to say thank you. The gesture to want to do such a thing is larger than the words I can use to thank you, and certainly larger than my ability to comprehend. But what a testament to how much we as people care for one another. I will never think anything, but that people are, by nature, good people.

Today, March 21, 2010, is the 4th month anniversary of my lug transplant. 4 months ago, a woman named Sandra Foglia was removed from life support by her daughters and was granted her wish to be an organ donor. I don't know a lot about this woman. But I do know that she was also a mother, like me. She gave to her girls, and she gave to me. I'd like to think she knows what she did for me and my family. That somewhere out there her spirit is free and she smiles upon the gift that she gave. Not many people, like Sandra, are organ donors in Canada. This makes Sandra a very special woman in my eyes. A woman that was able to think of a time that she would no longer be of this world, and would so generously pass on what she could in her death. I am trying to be articulate here, but I am failing short, as her gesture is too grand, too real, too close to my heart.

Four months ago I was somewhere else. I don't remember where I was, but I know I was close to my god. I felt his presence. I knew that no matter what, I would be okay. I have not written a lot about the things I remember and the things I don't. The impressions that are ingrained in my mind, the thoughts that run through my head to this day. I have not written much on the subject, since there is too much to write, and truthfully, I tend to weep when I think about it all. So, slowly I am trying to get it all down, so that it is not lost, but it will be quite some time before I am ready to share any of it. That's where my hope of writing a book about it all comes in. The question is, will I ever be brave enough to share the mystery of it all.

Today, my friend and Toronto Star reporter Barbara Turnbull wrote yet another amazing article about my journey, and now the journey of the donor family. I have added the link below as it's a wonderful showcase of what the donor-recipient relationship can be.

http:// http://%20http//www.healthzone.ca/health/newsfeatures/article/782895--finding-hope-in-a-mother-s-death?bn=1

So I thought it fitting that this be my last post, as I feel a sense of closure to it all. We have come full circle that's for sure.

With love and eternal gratitude.

Natalia.

Strength

Life is funny. And though I should be quite used to its ups and downs, and its unexpected turns, I never seem to be less surprised when one day things are down, and the next they are up. I should be better suited for such such a life. But I'm not.

The sun has been out here in Toronto, and the temperature has been hovering in the 15 degree zone, and people are out and about loving it. Some people loving it a bit too much, as I saw a girl in a skirt and t-shirt today freezing her butt off - but over all it has had a great affect on the mood of Torontonians. We are so sick of winter by March, and it shows - hence the girl with the bare legs today. I am no exception. Today Scarlett and I took a long walk. We sat at Starbucks and soaked up the sun. We drank tea, watched people with their babies and dogs, and even ate a chocolate covered caramel pretzel stick that has made its way back onto the Starbucks menu. Thank you Starbucks!! It was amazing, and Scarlett had a great long happy nap, as I relaxed and oozed happiness.

Besides being lazy at Starbucks, I have been working out at our club. It's been so great to be back there, getting a great workout in, and being among people again. I have a program that a trainer has put together for me. It's great. Today especially I felt so strong, like something has changed, like finally my body has freed itself from the aches and pains of tx and is able to gain strength. I was looking in the mirror today as I was working out, and I could not help but think of where I was 3 months ago. Even a month ago. How my body is changing and muscles are growing back. I feel strong. When was the last time I felt like this, high school perhaps. I walk with my shoulders back, taking in lots of air into my lungs. God I am happy to be alive today. Happy to have this body that is responding to my demands for it to get better and stronger. With each work out I feel less anxiety about rejection, about infection, about something going wrong. Since it's not. It has not since. Positive energy in running through my veins today.

Since the biopsy results came back negative for rejection, infection, or fungus growth of any sort, I have had my prednisone lowered by 5mg. I am also able to stop the blood thinners in 10 days when I get my filter removed. The filter and this blood clot that I had 4 months ago has been such a pain, that I am thrilled to have that chapter of my life closed. I saw the Thrombosis doctor this week, and the ultrasound showed no blood clots, and that's what we wanted to see. I don't think anyone expected for it to still be there, but who knows how long these things can drag on. I am just happy it's over. So much of this extra stuff that I have been dreading is coming to an end. It's amazing how things change in 3 months.

So what now? Do I keep the blog? Do I keep writing? I don't know. I have committed myself to writing a book. It has always been something that I have desperately wanted to do. To accomplish. I have lots to say, and always thought that I would want to get it down on paper after I had my transplant. Well, the time has come. I have started to write, and it has taken me away from the blog. I simply don't have enough energy for both. I find writing tiring, but rewarding, often exhilarating. Sometimes I can't stop. At the same time I don't want to make my blog something that I never wanted it to be. About what I had for dinner, and what Scarlett did today. Not that there's anything wrong with that, it's just not me. It's not what I wanted to say here. I guess time will tell.

Bronch and Biopsy day..and a whole bunch of good news

This week is my 3 month assessment. Monday I had clinic, PFT's, x-ray, CT Scan, and fasting blood work. Tuesday was the MRI of my brain. (Shannon I found out after I saw you Monday that it's not a standard 3 month test, so not to worry. I had it due to the fact that I was on the Novalung pre tx) Today I had my bronch and biopsy of my lungs. As we all remember, last time I had the bronch it did not go well. I had a massive infection and ended up back at TGH for a week on IV's, and then 2 more weeks on IV's at home.

I am proud to say that today it went really well. My lungs were clear, so the procedure was quick and easy. My doctor found no infection, and took a sample to check for rejection. So fingers crossed that goes well too. But so far I am thrilled that I had no reaction - and that the doctors are so happy with everything.

At clinic on Monday I was removed from a medication, which makes me very happy. If the biopsy results go well, I will have a whole bunch of other medications stopped also. I am VERY excited about that. Very exciting stuff.

On another exciting note, it seems like my leg pain is gone. Just like that. I did not take the hydromorphome this morning, and as I suspected, no pain. So I will continue to see if this goes well. I am still on the long acting oxycodone, but am being weaned off slowly. I am hoping to be off all pain killers within the next few weeks. Again, great news. By the end of March I may be off all my inhalations and half the medications, as well as all pain meds. A dream come true if this happens.

This week is also my last week of physio at TGH. This is so great for many reasons. I am ready to start attending the club gym, and I signed up for a few Yoga classes starting mid-March. I am also quite tired of being at TGH 3 or 4 times a week. It's too much. Now I will be attending clinic once every 6 weeks, and that in itself is a miracle. I will be leading a pretty normal life. Whatever will I do with all that free time...LOL!!

On a completely separate note......I have some great Scarlett news....

Today, my little Scarlett had her first poop on her potty!!!! We sat her down, and within minutes she did that magical potty business. I know this is lovely to talk about, but I had to share!!

And of course, a blackberry pic that we had to snap during the big moment!!

Here's to a good day, full of great news.

A weekend away

What a perfect weekend Martin and I just had. After the long and vacation-less 2009, this was our first get a way together. What made it even better was that we were able to enjoy more of our trip since I was able to use my brand new lungs. How great is that?

It was Martin's 36th birthday on Friday, the 26th. So I booked a one night spa get-a-way at the Prince of Whales hotel on Niagara on the Lake, Ontario. Just a little less than 2 hours from Toronto, for those that are not familiar with the area, this little town in just magical. Think Victorian architecture, wineries galore, art galleries, boutique hotels, and of course the Shaw festival. What made it all that much more magical was the snow storm that flew in the night we were there, that made it like a winter wonderland. Just perfect.

We walked through the streets, with the snow falling in our faces, and we truly appreciated the gift that we have been given on November 21, 2009. It was not only the gift of my life. It was the gift of freedom, of love, of hope. It was the gift given to Martin in the hopes of a long life with the spouse he chose to love. It was the gift to Scarlett of unconditional love from her mom, and to witness that love transcend the most trying times imaginable. So much was given to us a little over three months ago, and it seems like we are yet to discover how much was really given, as we discover more and more each day, that hope in itself is a gift.

Things I can't live without as a CF and Tx Patient

There are a few things that as a CF patient, and as a Tx patient I really really believe in. I'm not talking about my medications and treatments, those are a no-brainer. I'm talking about a few things that I have found to be really successful over the years in helping control some of the symptoms and progression of CF, and now of my new lungs. I believe in these things so strongly, that I thought I would share what I have learned in the hopes that other patients can may be find that they work for them too.

So here it is, my list.

1. NeilMed Sinus Rinse: This I did not discover on my own, it was recommended to me by my doctor, that swears that this natural salt rinse will significantly cut down the number of infections a CF patient will get per year. Since most people with CF have sinus issues, and grow the same bacteria in their sinuses that they do in their lungs, it is common for that sinus drip to find its way into the lungs. Basically the CF patient will infect themselves. So what starts as the sniffles, ends up being a full blown pneumonia. Over time, using the NeilMed will not only cut down on the number of infections, but also stop a runny nose, which is a nice bonus. There is nothing worse than a constant runny nose. An irritating affliction most people with CF deal with.

The really great part, is that after transplant, the NeilMed is especially crucial. Since my lungs are new, and clean, keeping them that way is the most important thing. Unfortunately the rest of me is still CF, especially my sinuses, and still have all those old bugs. When I came out of the hospital the first time like many of you remember, after a week at home I had to go back in due to an infection. That infection came from my nose. I infected myself. It was then that I was reminded once again how important it is to use my NeilMed everyday, twice a day. Keep those sinuses clear, infection free, and thus my new lungs infection free too.

I would recommend that EVERY CF and tx/cf patient use this. It's cheap, natural, and easy to use. I love it!! I can breathe well after using it, it gets anything out that needs to come out, and of course keeps it out of my lungs. Which is the most important thing. Recently I have heard from another CF patient that says she has not been sick once in 2 years, and thinks it's all due to her using the NeilMed. She even said that if she gets a head cold, she immediately does an extra dose of her NeilMed, and the cold is gone. And her lungs are clear from any infection that could have resulted.

Below is a pic of what the NeilMed looks like in case some of you want to pick it up. I'm a believer and really think using it consistently can save both CF and tx lungs.

2. Okay, the next one is my own personal discovery that I have been preaching about for YEARS. Metamucil: Yes, the fiber orange drink, Metamucil. When I was in my late teens I suffered from chronic obstruction. Yes, I can say constipation, but for those that have CF, this goes WAY beyond constipation. In many cases CF patients have to drink nasty concoctions such as Go-Lightly, Mineral Oil, take laxatives, or even have their bowels operated on. Scary stuff. Besides the fact that this type of obstruction is terribly painful, it is also terrible for the body. After a few years of dealing with this, and seeing specialists that only seemed to make the problem worse, I discovered Fiber. Yes, simple, natural, yummy fibre. I was visiting family in Chicago one summer, and my aunt told me I should give it a try. I was miserable after not going to the bathroom for days, and was losing weight since I was not eating. It was very painful and well, you get the idea. So I tried it. Thinking this will do nothing for my CF obstruction. But it was literally like a miracle. That day all my obstruction issues ended. If I ever slip up and stop using it, all the issues come back - and like most people with CF - I would rather not experience such slip ups. The great part is that it's tasty and easy to drink. You can put it in water, or orange juice. Drink a cup in the morning. That's all. If you are a CF patient, and you have these issues, slight or severe, give this a try. It will do no harm.

3. Finger Pulse Oximeter: Below is the one that I use. It cost be less than $200cdn. It's awesome. I have had it for years. It was more handy when I was just pre-tx and needed to make sure that I was not desaturated while on oxygen. Or that I was not giving myself too much oxygen thus risking the retention of Co2. But I find I check once in a while post-tx also. It's a quick and easy way to make sure that my oxygen is okay. It also has a pulse reading, which I like to use when I work out. To keep me on target. I would recommend that everyone have one, especially if your CF is at the point where you require oxygen.

I know that doctors often say not to focus on the numbers. I never really got that mentality. If you think about it, when the numbers are good not focusing on them is fine. But when the number is off, focusing on it will probably be quite valuable in diagnosing a problem and getting the proper treatment. For some reason it bothers medical staff when patients have these resources. But I believe, as long as you understand what the numbers mean, and how to act upon seeing a discrepancy, they can help a chronically ill person manage their own illness while allowing for independence, a sense of control, and a proactive lifestyle. Plus, I believe having oxygen at home, and not having an oximeter to check what you are SATing is like taking insulin without having a blood glucose monitor to check what your blood sugar is. Especially since at end stage lung disease things often change day to day, and adjustments have to be made. This should all be a part of CF education.

4. MicroPlus Spirometer: I never had one of these before tx. I just got one after, as it is a requirement at TGH for all lung transplant patients. The machine is about $600-800cdn. It's small, portable, and has really been a great part of my tx recovery. I use it every morning, the same way, same time, after the same routine. I record my 3 blows, the highest one counting for calculating if I had lost or gained since last time. The idea of this being to see patterns from day to day. Sometimes its a bit lower or a bit higher, but what the team looks for is a 10% (of total L) or more drop from my 'baseline'. Baseline being established after about 6 months post tx. If there is a 10% drop, I have to call my EZ call answering service and let the team know. If I have no other symptoms (no fever, no shortness of breath) we'll wait a day or two and see if it was just a bad blow, or is infection or rejection present. But if other symptoms are present, a clinic or ER visit might be needed. Either way I always keep the team informed about what's going on, which I really like. The cool part, is that this 10% drop can predict an infection that is days or weeks away. That's why it's so important to be consistent and do spirometry every day. Notice those changes, and notice infection before it gets out of hand. How cool is that?

Again, this allows me to feel more in control of my health care, to be proactive, and most importantly to possibly predict a life threatening infection. Between this number, my temperature, and my oxygen, I can go on with my day and feel good about where I'm at. And the whole thing takes me 5 minutes of my time in the morning.

So there you have it, my top 5. Of course I excluded Scarlett, but she's a must. Puts a smile on my face every day.

You push, push, push, push, and somethings gotta give. And it does.

Pain stinks. But when it's over, and some relief comes somehow, it feels so good. Like the skies open up.
I feel like I have been pushing and pushing through the pain and the misery that comes with it, and finally, finally I have arrived somewhere else. Standing still is not my thing. So this is great.

I had a busy week, mostly at TGH. I am working out there more and more, and even take up days that I am not due there, just to get some extra time exercising my body. I also had clinic this morning very early. I wanted to have them check a few things out - basically me being super careful with everything. The great news is that my lung function was the highest yet, and everything else looks great. Going to tx clinic, as opposed to my CF clinic, is that when I went to my CF clinic it was bad news pretty much always. Always lower numbers, always something. Here I go in and actually enjoy speaking to everyone and seeing my numbers grow, seeing that great clear x-ray, and that higher weight. It feels good.

After clinic today I went to the treadmill room and got a god work out in. I really pushed it on the bike for 40 minutes. It felt amazing. I went up in all my weights also. 7lbs bicep and triceps. 5lbs ankle weights for all my leg exercises. 5lbs for squats. All felt challenging, but good. The changes in my legs and arms are really starting to show.

So, in 2 days I will be 3 months post transplant! Which means that I will have my assessment and which also means I will start to go to my club to work out. I always said that I would wait until my 3 month until I went to work out somewhere else but home and TGH. Mostly as an infection control protocol. I'm pretty excited about it. I want to start with a beginners YOGA class to get my flexibility back - since tx I am so stiff and sore, I know this will really help.

Yesterday was a special day, that I hoped to mark with a post, but it was just too busy. It was Scarlett's 7 month!! My little girl is getting so big. She's doing so many new things, sitting and laughing and rolling EVERYWHERE!! It's quite amazing to watch. I just hope I can run before she can walk =)

Celebrating a good day today, and hopefully many more to come.