There has been much of that happening during the past few weeks. It's hard not to think back to what was a year ago. As far as I'm concerned, it's what wasn't. By this time I was not aware of anything. That long long road to where I am now had begun, and I was hardly aware of what it would all mean in the long run.
As November 21st approaches, it's hard not to try to put all the pieces together. All year I have been focusing on every day life. Rarely thinking about what was. How horrible it all was. But now I find comfort in thinking about it all. Running things in my mind over and over, being amazed at how crazy it all really was. How much of a miracle it really was.
Life now days is normal, busy, tiring, exciting, and possibly the most present than ever before. For so long I was so sick, that I was living in a fog. I had not realized it until now, until that fog has been lifted slowly over the past year. I see things clearly. I see life clearly. This is how I know that what happened to me and to my family, defies all explanations. It just happened, and somehow we ended up on top. I still don't know why, or how. It could have been so different. My life was defined by those seconds, minutes, hours, days, before my transplant. And in the final seconds, in the 11th hour as Myles had written, the coin landed the right side up. That still takes my breath away.
Today, I'm looking forward for the first time in my life. The future is not a scary place, it's only filled with what we'll make of it. And Martin and I and our Scarlett have big plans.
(November 2010)
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9 comments:
Cheers to big plans! They are priceless! Hugs my friend!
Go get 'em Mama! Keep on enjoying every minute!
Glad to hear that the future looks so amazing! It surely is especially when we look at our kids and see them grow so beautifully when we thought we'd never have them!
Congrats on Scarlett's first birthday!!!!
You look great and I am so happy for your family. I too, feel the same emotions how everything for my life could have been so different. How for a while, even after my experience it was a fog but things do get clear and how great it feels to be healthy. How incredible and blessed I feel to live a full life with my family. How wonderful every waking moment spent with your child, friends, and family can be. Life is a true gift. Enjoy every moment!
Oh it's so great to hear from you and hear your in a good place! I'm glad your finally able to look forward and just enjoy life for what it is.
You've come a long way!
It is wonderful to hear from you. I am so happy that things are going well for you and your family. I was just thinking about you because we are heading to the Santa Claus parade this Sunday and I remembered you being so sick last year. I thought of you and prayed for you so much during that parade as we were standing right infront of the hospital you were in at the time. I am so so happy that things are so different this year. Take care.
Congrats on the 1 year with many more to come. You had a good battle on your hands, I watched the documentry that was on tv. Its so nice when us cfers get another chance at life. Im hoping my call comes soon.
Glad to hear life is going so well for you and your family Natalia, we are so happy for you. Enjoy all the moments that have been given and bless those that donate organs to help people like yourself and many others we both know..
Natalia,
Heres to a wonderful healthy future that u so deserve. I think of u often, and smile when I think of how well u have done with ur transplant. I am double listing myself so that I have a better chance at a new and healthy life. Ur story has been an amazing inspiration to me. Hugs and Smiles~ Angela James
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